Learn to tickle the squeezebox's ivories at Accordion Apocalypse's Saturday class.

PHOTO BY MELODY GUZMAN COURTESY ACCORDION APOCALYPSE

culture@sfbg.com

CAREERS AND ED Be not dazzled by the big show across the pond into forgetting your studies! Regardless of how assured and gosh-darn perfect the Olympians may seem, few of us will ever find our dream job by cutting another tenth of a second off our 100-meter dash, or adding another five pounds onto our barbell (egads! Didn't you people check that Korean weightlifter's horrific elbow dislocation last week? Low weight, high reps out there, please.) But there are ample ways to improve your lot in life, by attending a class or two or enrolling at one of our fine educational institutions. We've compiled some amazing options within your grasp here. Grasp... poor, poor Sa Jae-hyouk.

EXTRACURRICULARS

INTRODUCTION TO ACCORDION

Saturdays at the Accordion Apocalypse repair shop offer a shot in SoMa at learning to tickle the ivories on sweet, sweet squeezebox. For only $20, staff teach accordion-playing hopefuls about the inner workings of the instrument. It's said you'll even emerge from your day of instruction knowing how to wheeze an entire song. Lessons happen once a week and hey, how convenient! If you really take to the accordion, fine specimens are available for purchase mere feet from your classroom.

Saturdays, 4pm. $20. Accordion Apocalypse, 255 10th St, SF. www.accordianapocalypse.com

CAMP WAKEUPOBAMA

You don't have to be a stoner to be upset about the way the federal government has been shutting down our cannabis dispensaries and raiding marijuana trade schools here in the Bay Area. And you don't have to be a stoner to not know, like, what the hell to do about it. Enter patient advocacy group Americans For Safe Access, who is teaching you how to stand up for medical marijuana with its free Camp WakeUpObama program. Earn online merit badges for calling your elected officials, making protest art projects — even coordinating pot-themed street theater with the help of ASA's exhaustive website's educational resources.

www.americansforsafeaccess.org/campwakeupobama

STUDIO SCULPTURE

Maybe you don't want to go back to college, but you are down to take a college class. It happens, and San Francisco State's extended learning department gets it. Register for an Open University course for this kind of real class, real life confluence. For example, its Studio Sculpture course. It's a rare opportunity to get a in-depth studio sculpting experience without all the boring prerequisites. That doesn't mean you won't get ample lessons in theoretical background. You didn't think your trip back to college will be all clay and play, did you?

Tuesdays and Thursdays Aug. 27-Dec. 17, 9:10-11:55am. $960. SFSU Fine Arts Building, 1600 Holloway, SF. www.sfsu.edu

WE BE SUSHI WORKSHOP

Sharpen your hamachi-making skills at this City College of San Francisco two-session course on the best in raw fish prep. We Be Sushi owner Andy Tonozuka opened his first sushi shop in 1987, so he should be able to impart all you need to know, from rolls to sashimi. Best of all: the lessons take place in Tonozuka's classic Mission District eatery. You can't get more San Francisco sushi-authentic than that — and we'll bet you your class fee covers at least a free sample or two.

Sundays, Sept. 26-Oct. 6, 10am-1pm. $65-80. We Be Sushi, 538 Valencia, SF. www.ccsf.edu